ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
nutella sex= disaster
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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