spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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