dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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