and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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