Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
