Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
