I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
