6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
