I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
