Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize