So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
