Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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