he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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