What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
