dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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