Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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