but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
