Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
