Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize