I'm really into asian looking animals
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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