peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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