Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
