So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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