Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
