It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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