Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
