and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
