Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
