some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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