this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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