Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
