1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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