Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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