Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
