im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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