apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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