i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
