I want to have your abortion
I CAN MOONWALK!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
