I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
