Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
