I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
