Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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