good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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