girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
