i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize