so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
