4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
