seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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