my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
