i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
In America we eat man semen.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize