kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
