The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So vagazzling was a success
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
