Small penises have feelings too.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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