omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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