idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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