you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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