id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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