I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
