I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i've created a new STD.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
