would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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