I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize