Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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