then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
