Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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