I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
