Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
