You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
