party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize