I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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