She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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