So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
