garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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