I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
