I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
