youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
