Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
