How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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