Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize