Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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