You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
