There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
