I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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