for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
