Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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