there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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