i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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