In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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