So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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