DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
