I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize