first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
