He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize