remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
