i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
